Canadian Blonde

An elderly blonde lived on a small farm in Canada,
just yards away from the North Dakota border.
Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute
between the United States and Canada for years.
The now widowed blonde, lived on the farm with
her son and three grandchildren.

One day, her son came into her room holding a
letter. "I just got some news, Mom," he said. "The
government has come to an agreement with the
people in Washington. They've decided that our
land is really part of the United States. We have
the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement.
What do you think?"

"What do I think?" his blonde mother said. "Sign it!
Call them right now and tell them we accept!
I don't think I could stand another one of those
Canadian winters!"

Two Minnesotans

Two Minnesotans walk into a pet shop in Grand Marais. They head to the bird
section and Sven says to Ole, "Dat's dem."


The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem
dere little budgies in dat cage up dere." says Sven. The owner puts the budgies
in a paper bag. Ole and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into
Sven's pick-up and drive to the top of the big cliffs by the lake. At the
cliffs, Sven looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, "Dis looks like a grand
place." He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps
off the cliff. Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the bottom, killing
himself dead. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Hans shakes his head
and says: "Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me."

BUT WAIT!!! There's MORE!

Moments later Knut arrives up at the cliffs. He's been to the pet shop too and
walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag in one hand and a
shotgun in the other. "Hey, Ole. Watch dis." Knut says. He takes a parrot from
the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff. Ole watches as half way
down, Knut takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Knut continues to plummet down
and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body. Ole shakes
his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either."

BUT WAIT!!! There's MORE!!

Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Lars appears. He's
also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag out of which he pulls a
chicken. Lars grasps the chicken by the legs holds it over his head and hurls
himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until his hits a rock and
breaks his spine. Once more Ole shakes his head...."First der was Sven with his
budgie jumping, den Knut parrotshooting....and now Lars in hengliding....."

HAVE YOU HAD ENOUGH ?

OK, I QUIT.